ambition

i'm bothered by the fact that on my third day of work, i'm already worrying about the groove of my office.

i don't know if it's a premature generalization but i feel that not everyone here gets the big picture. i don't think there's a main objective that everyone works toward. i feel like the rank-and-file (including me) are only made to understand our own individual tasks, which really just makes things inefficient. if a person doesn't know how things affect each other and how a small detail will contribute to an ultimate goal, then he won't take the menial tasks seriously. critical thinking won't be developed and a narrow perspective will be set. it's just that i don't feel that enough is being communicated to me in order for me to be really oriented to a specific company outlook. frankly, older employees don't seem to have the company outlook either. this leads me to believe that maybe there is no company spirit (like school spirit, huh?). i don't know if it's a lack of structure in policies and procedures (or maybe there are none?), i haven't been told everything. handbook please! listening session please! anything's welcome. nothing's very formal. not even the informal things seem to be formal enough to be passed on as company culture. my officemate told me there's no regular office meeting... what?!?! i wanna know what's going on! there may be less responsibility this way, but how the hell will i know what i'm liable for?! it's the only way i can police myself. i may not be able to be a boss to anyone, but certainly i want to be able to discipline myself. i really want to know how this thing runs, and how will i if no one is telling me anything? (i know how a record company runs, duh, i read up on it. but i want to know it in its practical sense.) knowledge creates a more intense hunger.

i have managerial ambitions! i want them fulfilled!!

p.s. my sis says there's a conference on music in marketing or something like that. i have to check it out.