meet the fockers

so yesterday was my big meet-the-mum dinner.

i had set my heart on a particular outfit to wear that was both fabulous and covered-up (a satin draped blouse with 3/4 sleeves plus a pearl shoulder-grazing earrings and a pearl cuff) but instead had to pull out something sexier because of the heatwave (an itty-bitty nude lace camisole with huge gold hoops and gold cuff).

i hemmed and hawed on what to give his mum with only two days notice. i missed the opportunity to ask my mum to shop for some accessory a woman her age would like, so i finally decided to get the second jar of good shepherd halaya my sister brought home from baguio. unfortunately, karl thought this a bad idea, since the stuff would spoil on her flight back to cambodia. i think she would have loved it though, had it not presented such predicament, since she'd been looking all over for pinoy delicacies to bring home. the most convenient would have been a cd or book from work, or even from national or house of praise nearby, but then it was difficult to pick out something she'd like. gladly, after our radio tour and late lunch, the artist dropped me off at shangri-la and i was able to pick out a nice pair of earrings before taking the train back to abs-cbn.

on the trike to the station, i noticed a missed call from my boss, and didn't mind it till i was back at the office. when i arrived, i regretted it since she was asking me to go to broadway centrum and bring the same materials i had dropped off earlier at abs-cbn. a) how the fuck am i supposed to broadway centrum? b) why the hell did she forget to bring these materials? my officemates were coaching me on commute routes, and i found it would have been easier to get there if i had not gone back to the office. it took a lot of time to prepare another set, and for all my fabulousness, i had to leave my pointy slingbacks and borrow some flat sandals to rush this whole package. to top it off, i was apprehensive to take a cab with all the chinese penny pinching sentiment flying around. and then, on the bus to cubao, she'd call me every five minutes to check on where i was. and then she finally said the magic words: "MAGTAXI KA NA!!" i jumped the bus before i reached aurora boulevard, where the cabbie wove through cubao and san juan sidestreets, cutting the possible 30-minute trip to 10. and my boss drove me back to the office with a hell of a lot of instructions that of course, i have to follow in the next week.

i can't believe i had to go through all that on the day i was meeting karl's mum. i was afraid that the stresstabs commercial would happen to me, and she'd whisper to him that i look a lot older than i was, having been harassed at work. thankfully, i had enough time to primp before going to UP, and i even took a cab to preserve the effort.

when we finally met, she sent karl to have something photocopied at SC, so we had a lot of time to chat without him. the first thing she said to me was "alam mo ba kung saan namin ginawa si karl?..." oh lordie! hahaha, she sure isn't quite like any mum. except maybe tita nell, may's mum. hehehe!!! mark even dropped by for his cam before karl arrived. it was really hilarious, all those things she went through before.

anyway, after dinner and dessert, we put her in a cab home, and took a short walk. the verdict (given while i was at the ladies' room): "she's a sweet & simple girl" - yes, even with the fabulous gold hoops and pointy shoes; and "she's not intellectually arrogant. she doesn't have any hang-ups." YAY!!! welcome to the fockers.

ew.

ew.

ok, so i've almost come to terms with the fact that this is a kiss-up job. i'm fine that i'm destined to wander under the noontime sun for most of the week and be as pleasant as i can so i can ask for favors.

but i don't frikkin' have to peddle myself.

hey, i'm thankful for the face and the body, and i know i'm a shameless flirt, but i really choose my prey. and i sure as hell don't do it for work.

it sucks that i feel like i'm being chastised for being businesslike by my bosses just because some D.O.M. station manager is hell bent on meeting me. the fact that he gives me the run-around whenever i try to transact business with me, and instead sends me a shitload of cheesy religious forwarded messages just pushes me to be more and more stony. i tried to accommodate some of these inane moves, but ultimately i only want to dodge him for eternity. (i told my boss i had plans tonight so i wouldn't have to wait for him here in the office to meet him. in truth, i am just going home to exercise, have a nice dinner with my family and chat with my sister.) i am seriously creeped out.

so here go the bosses asking me to play the game.

hey, i don't have to frikkin' peddle myself.

ew.

to have your cake and eat it too

i didn't want to work last wednesday but office was cut short to half a day.
i didn't want to bring a whole lot of stuff to my girls' night out, and i was able to bring it home first.
i wanted to exercise and i had the time.
i didn't want to commute, but color-coding was lifted, so my dad brought me to work and to my friends'.
i didn't want him to waste gas, and my sister's departure coincided with mine.
i wanted to dress up and i could without the commute.
i had reasonable dinner and coffee. and lots of sweets from anne's place! and good talks long overdue.
i guess rica was the only missing piece.

thursday, i had the time to nap, to exercise, to read, to watch a dvd, to make sandwiches, to pray, to spend time with mum and dad.

friday gave me the quiapo experience without the danger. i was at the balcony the whole time, while merv did his suicide ride on the carroza. even with the stench and the heat, it was still a privileged position. i was able to abstain from meat despite mealtime circumstances. i had a cool ride coming and going, i had time to nap, to bathe well.

saturday and sunday was the best - karl and i played house at his house. what a happy easter.

oh, the poochers are missing. damn.

to the long weekend ahead

hmm.. so dinner with sir reev went well. he confirmed everything karl told me about my bitching, which is good, since i guess he should know better - he came from the same industry.

my sister and i scrapped our plans for saturday morning to be with our parents. but then we both left them around lunchtime, and i headed to be with karl for the rest of the day.

yesterday we had a pre-production meeting for the quiapo shoot on friday. apparently it's not as simple as karl thought. at least for the other cameramen, it's not. they're all going to have another pre-production meeting/courtesy call/shoot/occular on wednesday. i'll be meeting mark tonight to borrow his cam. it feels nice to have something to do on good friday. something a bit pious, a bit ambitious, a bit adventurous. i hope all goes well.

grinding on

at least this week went by fast.

yesterday, i watched robots with karl at gateway. nice place, that mall. needs more restaurants though. their food court isn't stellar. the coliseum is near enough though, to fill in that lack. i liked the stuff at fornarina. almost flat boots, there were, but too expensive. i wish diesel or kickers send theirs in. karl is so not a mall guy. i really have to do my shopping with my sisters. and he hates colorful footwear, dammit. oh well. if he's not there to shop with me, he can't choose my clothes. hehehe.

the movie was entertaining. lots of adult humor, actually. and somehow the plot seems to move without much introspection from the characters. fun though, very fun.

for all my work angst-tripping the past week, i'm finally going to see sir reev again tonight. hope he sheds some light on all this.

i'm so excited for holy week! here's to the quiapo shoot and hanging around. adventure and ease. yay! gahd. i can't believe i only have long weekends to look forward to instead of whole breaks.

cheap thrills

it was another cheap thrills weekend for me and karl. last friday, we had dinner at rodic's, then went to paul and dante's house at cubao. it's really a fun place to hang out in, and apparently everyone thinks so too. we talked about common acquaintances - anya, sir reev, luna and anne. dante showed us very cool trailers, among them "the corpse bride" and "sin city". i got drunk on vodka and sprite and had my cards read by paul. hehehe, very fun.

karl and i hung out the next day at my house, and gladly everyone left at one point (very fun indeed). when my parents and sister came home, he left me to hear mass with my family.

yesterday i went to galleria with my family. mum bought us a nice rainbow scarf from terranova, and i abandoned a nice peasant skirt that i might have to go back for.

the heat is killing me.

speaking of heat, pudgee's in heat and both calvin and schroeder are hot for her. they're trying very hard to destroy her cage already and rape her. my sister brought her into the house and the two boys decided to howl the whole night, so none of us were able to sleep last night. gahd, i'd kill them if i could.

crap crap crap

since monday, everyday feels like friday. i've been longing to go out or laze around endlessly with friends, family or karl. but even now, there's still three days till the weekend.

aaaaaaacccccckkkkkkk.

off balance

i was thrown off balance the moment i woke up today.

my sister came down from the bunk bed and bunched up beside me, saying "i don't have my period yet..." and guess what i say?! "nag-usap ba kami ni karl kagabi? hindi... hindi kami nakapag-usap."

(for anyone who wonders about my sister's predicament, not to worry, she was a good girl the whole month - the best reason for her not to worry.)

BUT. i checked my phone and there was no message from karl telling me he'd call up late or wouldn't be able to call, none to ask me to call or why i haven't called (if indeed i was the one who was supposed to do it.)

and i checked our caller ID if i just didn't wake up when he called, but nothing was registered. i called up his cellphone but of course it was off (he does that when he sleeps). and i couldn't wake up his household either.

there were so many stories to tell last night, and i really wanted to hear from him. so it's 8:30 and he's not awake yet and i have no idea how this day will fly, especially after such a rude awakening at 5 am.

how does one go from a passing message to someone i can't live without?

like ia said...

...it's been difficult for everyone recently.

after hanging out the whole saturday with karl at home, my sister invited me to go watch a movie that evening. before leaving, she reluctantly had an emotional discussion with her ex, leaving her to drive to fairview rattled in the rain. and so we got into an accident. the hood, fender and left headlight is busted, pinching the driver's door, and preventing it from opening. we had to be driven home by her ex as well.

to assuage our pain, we watch hitch the next day. i'm glad it worked.

but of course, until now, our personal demons still haunt us, and though in my mind i'm near choking in trying to face mine starting today, my sister just can't right now. she's at home now cowering under the sheets.

sometimes i wish i could do that too.

regularization awaits (schmoozing angst part 3)

i'm just waiting for official papers - appraisals and raises, and whatever else may come with it.

it should be a joyous occasion (well, not really. just something good to appreciate quietly) and yet here i am being eaten alive by my own thoughts and fears and inadequacy.

to karl i broke down twice, feeling ashamed that i am actually reluctant to take control of my situation, refusing to hear criticism, hesitant to step up to a challenge.

but i guess i have no choice.

god help me.

answers

my favorite things in the last post are:
1) the song "6 undergound" by the sneaker pimps
2) Edgar Allan Poe
3) Karl
4) my pink beret
5) Names Are For Tombstones
6) The Cure
7) The Nightmare Before Christmas
8) The Smashing Pumpkins
9) the song "Ava Adore" by the Smashing Pumpkins
10) the movie "Almost Famous"

spot my favorite things

last night i went to the late isabel's video launch for their new single "my favorite things." i really enjoyed myself, i'm so glad! first of all, it was a non-hostile makati club called 6 underground. no smoke is a pretty good trade-off for snotty yuppies, but this had it all! no cover charge to boot. though the waitresses are a bit finnicky about getting orders and payments, that's no big deal. the floor was purple, the ceiling black, the walls a pale teal that had the lyrics of the sneaker pimps song they were named after. very goth, that place, with mismatched chandeliers, and twisted paintings. good sound system. all in all, very much like prospero's banquet hall in poe's "the mask of red death." note to self: must locate unfinished drawing of said banquet.

of course, karl and jill introduced me to all their goth friends. i saw wednesday addams, morpheus from the matrix and mervyn the pumpkin head, dream's ultimate trabahador. (i certainly wouldn't look too weird if i wore my pink beret.) then there's nonong of names are for tombstones. he's my favorite. he opened the show. he's like moby/trent reznor. his precision and range of styles is amazing. he's fuss-free. except with his settings of course.

next was dominion - traditional goth, with a german singer called mike strange. he looks like reneboy (ate glow). he has beautiful tattooes. skies of ember followed. though i'm not so fond of either, and many of their songs sound alike, they're both tight bands. that matters a lot, i guess.

i have come to note a goth's favorite things: alcohol, dark eye makeup, weapons for jewelry, dressing up, photographing themselves, dancing with flailing arms, and "a night like this" by the cure... they're quite a happy bunch, it seems. very nightmare before christmas. Halloweenland was just so fun.

anyway, the cmc film crowd was there as well - ackey, ruthie, joey, and this other guy whose name i forgot. ackey outdid himself. it's really a good video. others spotted: goo and junjie lerma, and possibly wawi's dad, who shouted "ang swerte ng boyfriend ng anak ko!!" poor goo. wahaha!


so far, the band is shaping up to be the only smashing pumpkins-type band in the philippines, in the sense that the pumpkins were saw their videos as art. well, i guess you could put in radioactive sago project there. except of course, not very pumpkinesque in style. note: wawi has "harishuku girls" like gwen stefani. she calls them "nightgown girls" instead.

unfortunately, we were only able to stick around for one song from isabel since my mum was hounding me to get my ass home. they did this funky thing, very bass-driven, which I really like. they can move ala-ava adore too. jill gave me an isabel shirt... in a ladies' small!!! hooray for small band shirts! methinks i will cut it up later. it was an almost famous moment, when the band stillwater only found jason lee's face on their shirts. needless to say, it was wawi printed on it, and available only in girl's sizes. fascists!

so, the point is, watch out for the video. it's really good.

enterprise is not one of my virtues, part 2

it dawned upon me that i am scared shit of hard work and hard times, even if i know that i can tough it out. languor and complacency, these are my traits. i look forward to an easy life, though i dread the dog-eat-dog world i must enter to achieve it. even then, i think, when will the relatively relaxed trudging for meager pay end?

these thoughts came to mind because of yesterday's meeting with the general manager. here's the plan: better product, better promotion. stock up on saleable foreign material, drop prices of non-moving stocks immediately. more OPM signing, more budget for promo. less overhead expenses, less investment in production by cutting down songs. (huh, wait. that last one doesn't make sense. we'll be an ep-machine in no time.)

this should make me a bit happier, since i can ask for money to, say, bring cebuanos junior kilat to manila. but wait... will I do the whole bar tour? while doing tv and radio rounds? and the mall tours? uh-uh! it scares me shit that i'll have a lot to do because they're willing to spend on promotion. it scares me shit that they'll make me schmooze, take people out, and all that crap. i actually prefer doing the events rather than doing regular tv/radio rounds. but it's all a trade-off. if i focus solely on events, where do i get the power to get media sponsors? and how, by god, HOW, do you twist advertisers' arms into helping you out?! and when all of this is set, i'll be the perpetually-agit-events-girl who's sort of an insomniac and goes to all the damn events, which doesn't really work either since i'm kind of a homebody too.

have i just not found what i love doing? i guess i am a label/a&r girl at heart. but even looking for things to invest in - foreign releases to bring in and local talent to develop - they seem to be a daunting task.

do i have to marry a rich man and become a moneyed housewife with one of those little ventures? will i be satisfied with myself if i don't have financial independence? why am i such a coward?