Wenk!

Fine, so hindi pinalabas today ang nasabing segment sa MUP. Pinag-abang ko ang nanay ko buong umaga pero walang nakita. Baka raw ngayon ang taping pero ibang episode ieere. Abangan niyo nalang! :D

Subukan ko magpost sa multiply ng photo ng damit pag makuhanan ko na.

OH, PRAISE GOD!!!

Chely's right. The odd thing about faith is that even when I think I've totally lost it, I actually haven't.

I always take credit for what I do, especially the good things. It's easy to say that things panned out because I worked hard or because I'm brilliant, whatever. But there are just some things I can't take credit for.

For example, my dress. I hardly think I sacrificed a lot for it, save for taking half a day off to perfect the pattern and some moolah. On hindsight, everything was relatively convenient, from finding labor (Naty's sewer Liway is intelligent and skilled) to transportation (Dad drove me to their house). What's better is that today, Sir Shanon asked me to submit the dress so that aside from being photographed in the Manila Bulletin, it would be shown tomorrow in Magandang Umaga Pilipinas. (Ops, nood kayo: 5:30 to 8:30 AM on ABS-CBN. Pag nagustuhan, order na!)

Shuttling from Makati to San Juan to Mandaluyong is no joke, but my mum pulled through for me today as well.

There is really no logic behind this! I spent most of the morning with thank-you's rushing through my head (parang speech ng nanalo!). Like Mark said, only God makes it possible to do the things we want to do.

Ok, fine. So maybe Karl's prayers to Imotep worked too.

Bethany

Remember Bethany in Dogma? I had my Bethany moment last Sunday. For some reason, I kept tearing up at Mass. I was probably crying for all those things I'm not able to practice anymore: the Gospel on agape, the offertory song on generosity, the reminder about Ash Wednesday and fasting and abstinence during Lent.

Is it all lost?

All-consuming

Since the start of the weekend, I've been consumed with thoughts of dressmaking. Our director assigned us to create a white baby doll dress for Manila Bulletin's I Section and we all jumped at the opportunity to have our first portfolio piece.

That very weekend I made my sketch. The following Saturday, I started my pattern. After working on it further, I hit a roadblock and now I'm ditching work in order to have it checked before school closes.

With all the time on hand, I wanted to drop by the sewer and start the production process, except that she's located right by Xavier School. Not a good idea at about 3 to 5 PM (exactly when I'm free). So here I am, plotting my time, finding a way to maximize it till my February 26 deadline (and hindrances like closing times and weekenders). I've been bothering many people, trying to gauge whether to work with a classmate or go on my own time, telling Aries and Naty on again and off again when I'll actually be able to visit. I'm really surprised how hard this is with a full-time day job.

After talking to Karl about it, he said, "That's the way it really is. Art isn't convenient. Daily life ALWAYS gets in the way. "

So. Ganito pala yun. Huh.

i can smell your spicy brains.

After reading ia's blog and her musings on how she turned vanilla, I turned to thought on how I turned depraved.

I sort of developed a theory on how people view themselves and how they determine their own behavior.

First would be the kind that keep themselves pristine. I don't exactly know what they value: innocence, reputation or public image, maybe social acceptance. My examples would be Anne and my sister Lana (maybe the vanilla Ia too). Lana even gets compared to the ever-proper Bree on Desperate Housewives.

The other kind is composed of people who give themselves leeway in order to have a broader or better experience. That's me, and probably even Karl or May. And I guess definitely Kiara.

To illustrate: Anne and Lana, they rarely curse. Anne thinks it's wrong, while my sister says it's not ladylike (she will however, cuss in the privacy of her air-conditioned car while she's driving). Fair enough, I agree. Cursing is wrong and it is sometimes a turn-off. Yet my mouth is dirty as hell and I don't really mind. Somehow I don't think it takes away too much from my character and Karl has even said that it's a way to overcome communication or expression barriers within a person. (hahahahahaha yes, my boyfriend IS depraved. But I do agree that cursing is an effective, descriptive and colorful part of language and expression.)

Another example: would you sleep with someone just because (you're not sleeping with anyone else anyway, you're bored, you're really craving for some action, you're out of practice, whatever.) or would you rationalize (you don't want to hurt the person, you don't want emotional mess, you only sleep with an official boyfriend, you are minimizing your magic number.) If you think an man's oversized cardigan would be good as a dress, can you muster up enough courage to go out and wear it?

I can actually say that on a theoretical level, I don't prefer one perspective over the other. On the practical level, however, I am governed by one of them. I equally respect, and am actually enthralled by individuals in the other camp. The key is to be deliberate. People are intriguing, whether vanilla or spicy, when they believe in who they are.

maria, the key!

Like Roberto Benigni in La Vita e Bella, I depend upon someone to open the door. Imagine the horror when no one answers.

Yesterday I hung out at Karl's office while my family went to Alabang. I went home early because I wanted to nap badly (my parents were making a racket cooking in the kitchen the previous night and early morning). Guess what? No one was home, and I didn't have a key (they never issued us one for monitoring purposes).

I was sobbing horribly on the porch and called to demand that they go home. It took them an hour to actually leave Alabang. Karl, Don Jan and Liza came to my rescue even earlier and whisked me off to Domi's Tomas Morato apartment. When I came home, no one even apologized.

Can you fucking believe it? If they didn't want to give us the privilege of having a key, then they are always responsible for letting us in and giving us access to the house. What they overlooked cost almost three hours of precious sleep, which I only needed due to their nonstop noise the past night. That's pretty irresponsible.

It's time to take matters into my own hands. I am finally duplicating the key to our house. I borrowed my sister's copy, which, in fact, was also produced on the sly. So nevermind. I'm not asking if I can have a key. I'm taking it.