would you leave the country for P. Diddy?

Yeah, I know it sounds ridiculous, especially from me. To think I'm usually so stuck to calling him Puff Daddy. But no, I have not developed an insane new obsession. It's just that his label, Sean John, is looking for an Asian Secretary to work in London. (Why Asian? I don't know. It's just that it gets me really excited to work for an international luxury brand. And to regularly buy topshop and rimmel. and maybe go to scotland. and watch franz ferdinand.)

So I guess the question is really, how far would you go for an opportunity? for fashion, which you so desperately ARE obsessed with? (well, if you WERE me, that is. because I can't answer just about now.)

And even if I can't answer, I sent my CV anyway. I feel quite anxious, because in my mind, if you read my application, I sound really convincing and quite appealing. I feel like I really fit the bill. And that's where the problem starts. It's so fine and dandy to think that, well, it doesn't hurt to try, and I may not get it anyway. But what if I do? What if I have to pack up and leave?

What do I do with my career here, which btw, is right on track? More importantly, what would happen to me and Karl? (and I'm especially anxious that as of writing, I haven't told him I sent this really careless job application). This is why I can admit to people that i'm just a regular person who wants a fairly domestic life, despite being perceived as a go-getter. Oh, were I just as committed to fashion as my teachers at school.

I told my parents that I almost hope my application doesn't pan out, to avoid all the complications. Oddly enough, they told me something that Karl recently said to me too: it'll resolve itself. Your life will just fall into place if it were meant for you.

I guess so. I guess I still haven't learned to trust my instincts and I still always get ahead of myself.

Paradise Kiss

Today is graduation day at my fashion school. I'm going to the newest mall in town to watch the fashion show and I'm having a Miwako moment (as in Paradise Kiss - yes I watch it). For those who don't follow the program, Miwako, a fashion student and sewer, was explaining the dynamics of the atelier, where her friend George is head designer. While she has the skills to construct garments, she usually feels insecure beside George's and her sister's talent. (Her sister has a popular brand of clothes as well.)

I'm very excited to see what my classmates have created but at the same time I feel jealous that I'm not showing. My own insecurities are manifesting. I keep wondering why I chickened out of this when a batchmate who is employed full-time and engaged found the courage to participate with only two months to prepare. I do wonder if her advantages are truly great: financial wealth to fund the endeavor, a chauffeur at her beck and call, a home sewing machine and intermediate skill in operating it. Is my handicap too overwhelming? 15 to 20K out of the bank is very substantial to me and it's hard to be motivated for weeks working till 10PM at school, buying dinner, catching the train or waiting for a cab, pleading with dad to pick me up. Don't even mention going to Divisoria. Karl even said he couldn't promise all his support.

It feels really weird justifying all this. Is it really just envy, or is it regret? I do hope that next year, I'll be ready.

in-house brands!

As a briefer for those who aren't my coworkers, let me tell you that those China, Taiwan and Hong Kong factories that churn out goods for successful labels actually try to develop their own brands. They're those products with names and taglines in incoherent English.


Surprisingly enough, I have found two personal possessions that carry the in-house brand of a China and a Taiwan factory. Both of them were purchased before learning about the particular company.

One of them is a tin Beni Bear CD filecase by Winbo Industrial Co. Ltd of China. The other is two pairs of panties from Audrey, from Easy Shop Corp. of Taiwan.

That tin can had been in our house since I was in college. I bought the panties in Hong Kong last year while on vacation with my mum and sisters. The manufacturer is featured in a report I edited just two weeks ago. Amazing.

There's also a prominent Chinese brand of sports shoes called Anta. It's from Fujian province and cite it as we harp on about burgeoning design capability in Jinjiang. They're actually providing the shoes for China's Olympic athletes. Oh, and they have a boutique (yes, an actual freestanding store) in *shock* TriNoma.

I guess it's kinda true that the whole China-recall thing is starting to become a new form of trade protectionism. But hey, there are still many good things that come out of those stupid Cheks. (no offense to any of my chinoy friends)