i'm just waiting for official papers - appraisals and raises, and whatever else may come with it.
it should be a joyous occasion (well, not really. just something good to appreciate quietly) and yet here i am being eaten alive by my own thoughts and fears and inadequacy.
to karl i broke down twice, feeling ashamed that i am actually reluctant to take control of my situation, refusing to hear criticism, hesitant to step up to a challenge.
but i guess i have no choice.
god help me.
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