Monday, March 07, 2005

regularization awaits (schmoozing angst part 3)

i'm just waiting for official papers - appraisals and raises, and whatever else may come with it.

it should be a joyous occasion (well, not really. just something good to appreciate quietly) and yet here i am being eaten alive by my own thoughts and fears and inadequacy.

to karl i broke down twice, feeling ashamed that i am actually reluctant to take control of my situation, refusing to hear criticism, hesitant to step up to a challenge.

but i guess i have no choice.

god help me.

No comments: