profile schmrofile

i've been looking at one too many friendster profiles. and i'm actually jealous that mine's quite stagnant. i haven't posted a new photo since last summer, and i haven't really updated any of the fields. granted, i don't really believe in posting anything in the "about me" section, and i always go for all-time favorites rather than current loves, so no one really finds out about me raving about new local music, or reading a good novel (though i really must include clive barker's imajica in my favorite books). and i just hate that i haven't had my photo taken in a really long time despite the abundance of nights out. and i couldn't even take photos during my last trip (to cebu, with karl). i have photos of bands and people i've met instead of me in my fabulous clothes with my fabulous friends and boyfriend. i haven't worn my bikini since october. i'm kinda bitter that my friends are too type B to plan, and my family, my boyfriend and I are all too type A to leave work. and when we actually decide to have fun during the weekend, it seems quite rude to stop every so often to pose for a photo. after all, we SHOULD be having fun, listening to each other and enjoying each other's company rather than posing. it's like having sex with a mirror around - sometimes you end up watching yourself and/or your partner more than you're making love. and that's pretty rude. so that's my beef about lugging a camera around. sometimes it's an activity in itself with certain groups - like the pizza poochers, but aside from that, i think i'm in the i-don't-want-to-worry-about-the-camera camp. which makes me wonder why i have inclinations to become a photographer. hence putting "photographs" instead of "photography" in my friendster profile list of hobbies and interests. i love a good photograph, but i won't break my back trying to take it. but i must admit, i'm always envious of good photographers, like "damn, why am i not that GOOD?!?!" but shit man, i can't expect to be good if more than a month passes by without me handling a camera. (the last time was feb.26 at the terno au go go).

i'm also losing that "kaladkarin" streak i so proudly gained in my last two years in college. unfortunately, i'm starting to turn down weekday invitations that'll keep me out beyond 11PM. it's only prudent - sad, but true. aaaaccccckk!!! there goes the dream of going to roadtrips with the poochers when we're 40! why, why, why can't we just settle on one friday evening and getaway to the zulueta bukid till sunday morning?!?! (or any other nearby resort for that matter. one weekday night isn't feasible for me anymore, and frankly, hindi sulit!) please, let's do this!!! i just want a goddamn weekend. well actually, to all willing holy girls, let's try this too! of course, one of you will have to drive. shucks - i do believe none of our parents will accede to a group of girls driving all the way to a resort. except maybe tita nell. damn, she's a cool mom!
not to mention that i want a new zimmerman suit (and an occasion to wear it) for the summer. it's bad enough that everyone else has bounce-quarters-off-them-abs abs, i don't want them to say my mauve bikini's fading!

gahd, all that rambling just because of a friendster profile. this internet networking bit is getting SO out of hand, really. we all just want to brag about fabulous lives or induce pity (for the terminally depressed and proud of it). not that i don't subscribe to it. you gotta admit though, this IS a pretty fabulous blog, despite the lack of photos.