work it!

two things:
1) i know now how you have to work for everything that you want to happen.
2) i know now how people can fall out of the circuit.

1) my dad explained to me how i must strive to find out about the big picture and the little details. and that i'm not really entitled to anything. well, he didn't tell me that. i just realized it, as an adjunct to the fact that i must work for everything. although the feeling of entitlement helps with dreaming big. there is much to be learned and there is much coaxing out to do. sir ton ton told us that there will always be an opportunity for those who want to learn. but i always feel left behind. like i'm a late adapter. or that i missed the bandwagon. that really sucks. but there's nothing else to do but to try to catch up. am i not a go-getter enough?! i have friends i look up to in terms of achievement and i keep on thinking, am i lazier? dumber? prissier? more naive? too boring? too safe? i'm fucking magna cum laude, damn it. if everyone's greeting me, then it has to count for something! but i always suspected it doesn't mean shit. and right now, it really feels like it doesn't. I have such a long way to go, and i do hope i'm on the right track. (oh lord, teach me how it's done, show me where to go...)

2) it dawned on me why lovers want to live together, why friends lose touch, why we forget to hear mass or pray, why we get fat and still not exercise, why we can't follow trends anymore... there just isn't enough time, it seems. not that i don't have time anymore. au contraire, i'm lucky to be able to talk to friends and family still. but it's been a while since i exercised, and i haven't been watching enough tv (there's such a thing pala). if you still want to sleep 8 hours a day, good luck.

ambition and entitlement... why do i want to have it all?!

"o kay bilis naman ng buhay, pati tayo natangay..." - sugarfree