"those days when the word effort just means poison"

i FEEL like a scatterbrain today. but i'm not. with mina's visit, the island riddims tour, the putumayo launch, and aleck lurking around some corner, clearly this isn't a time i'd choose to be a scatterbrain. but they're just everywhere, unfinished! the clutter is taking its toll on my head and i feel powerless. like i'll stutter in all my calls, and never assert our demands. i hate making demands. sometimes i wish like calling everything off when i can't get what we want. why can't we just pay for what we want anyway? aaahh the art of negotiation. i'm in denial. i really am a scatterbrain today.

i'm so nervous about those damn mall shows. stupid middlemen. makes coordination such a pain in the ass. oh, and SM is getting quite prissy. their bureacracy is quite difficult too. and their new image.

and you'd think the nerves would keep me alive and on edge.. i want to drop dead already. zzzzzzz........