exercise # 2

now here's what i feel about my life. because everyone says "kamusta" and i really feel like everything's on autopilot. i guess it is. but always, always, in the back of one's mind, something must be going on.

i keep forgetting that there's something new and (supposedly) exciting in my life. that is, fashion design lessons. and i'm having fun. i love my class and my teacher and i love learning about things that i'm interested in. but this has yet to manifest in a life a major shaker, because i don't have enough skills yet to make a move. and i have yet to make a plan for the big changes.

i have to think about whether or not i can sustain studying all the courses i will need while i have a full time job. i have to think whether or not my parents are going to pay for it. i have to think about what to do for pocket money if i'm not going to have a full-time job. and i have to get the whole design thing running in my veins, create a design sensibility, a pulse for the industry blah blah blah. (isn't it so weird why i ALWAYS have to project this far into the future when i'm thinking? i wish i were anal retentive with, say, designing, rather than with the course of my life.)

so anyway, i'm trying out this new bit, contributing for chalk. one short article only, and we'll see how it goes. 'cause it just might be an option when decisions have to be made. right now, it's just autopilot.